My N.D.E. journey

Let me make something clear. I do not want to mislead you. My N.D.E. was not sparked by an accident or shock. I was taken out of my body and experienced the whole tunnel and dying process. No more sensation of the body, no more reaction, a life review... I was very confused at first of what I had experienced which lead me to research N.D.E.. There are many books on this subject. If you are interested in this subject I recommend a book: "Into the Light” ; a good one to start. After some searching I found accounts like mine (that happened without trauma) and found that they were also called N.D.E. I know there was a reason for this to happen to me and so I am trying to share this beautiful gift I was given, and this is where I begin. If you are still interested here is the start of my journey:

My journey, was a journey of discovery, I was searching for truth. I always believe in God, or if you prefer The Source, Allah, Buddha, Jesus, Krishna...etc. What the world was offering me as what God was or how to please him just made no sense to me and did not resonate with what I knew deep inside my soul about his essence.

How was I going to find the answer? I did not want a load of baloney; I was ready to know, even if the truth hurt. This process was very hard as I had to learn to let go of all preconceived notions and resign myself to a state of emptiness. This process is very painful, as it strips the comfortable state and security we depend on as human beings; many give up at this point because often depression sets in. But I was determined to know, I accepted this and pushed forward. It seemed I opened a can of worms because every time I thought I was making logical sense of something in my mind, something else would come to disprove it. It was as if all these thoughts had to be felt and processed before they could be cleared out of the way to make space for something new. I had no teacher and thought at this point that I probably was the only one in the world going through this and so I feared discussing it.

One day while my husband was playing D.J. at home with his console I went to lie down and felt this rush of energy at the base of my spine. It felt very strong like a continuous orgasm but not of the same nature (this state later I found is call Kundalini) and all of a sudden I heard this voice in my head saying “make it rise to the top of your head” and so I did. I began to breathe very deeply and relaxing, accepting this and visualizing it going to the top of my head. And all of a sudden I felt this intense bliss and saw this being standing at the end of my bed saying “Just keep searching for me Melanie and do not worry about anything concerning your life, I will take care of everything”. As this message was being conveyed to me a beautiful liquid blue color poured over me penetrating every cell of my being. As I was coming out of this transcending moment I felt such peace but also so many questions, I researched the meaning of blue which led to crystals and their significance. This became such a big help for me. I bought crystals, and books about crystals, which in turn lead me to other metaphysical information. I was insatiable and spent about a year researching.

I began to experience, at this stage, extra-sensory activities over which I had no control over. Sometimes these were very beautiful experiences but other time the experiences where quite frightening. It turns out these experiences are a normal process of the third eye chakra opening; when it does, duality is seen as being either good or bad. Often it is common for one to experience psychic phenomena at this point_ for me this came in the form of seeing the spirit world. This can be ghost sightings, fairy lights, orbs, mystical beings and angels or guides. These can often be seen with the naked eye or experienced as objects being moved or strange smells. It’s very important at this stage not to get caught up in these phenomena (most people do) as this is not the goal to enlightenment, one as to observe and accept these and moved to the final state of oneness and non duality. That is when the soul becomes one with The Source.

For myself these experiences where with my ancestors, angels, power animals which where extremely happy and positive as well as demons, very mythical beings, dark energy and black shadow people, which at the time, where very scary; however, their role was as crucial as the light beings. I only understood this after moving up from the third eye chakra. These beings can also be helpers if they are embraced with light and compassion instead of fear. Everything comes from The Source, good and bad. Each has its purpose. Dogma, and society have made us fear the darker side of ourselves, with taboos and indoctrination, however, if one scratches beneath the surface a little a lot of healing resides behind this ‘fear’.

Through these experiences and meditation I received great help from my deceased grandmother as well as my power animals. Their teachings were extremely powerful and guided me through very deep healing. These transcending moments were so very real and powerful that left me with a deep respect and thankfulness for their caring and guidance.

During another deep meditation I called upon my guide to assist me and reveal to me more teachings. They presented themselves in a very unsuspecting manner, and said:”Melanie there is no more guide and no more teaching. What is it that you want from us?” This response came as a surprise, and required me to focus on an answer. I responded: “the only thing I want is to see God”. They answered: “this is the right answer”. Little did I know that this was a test of my true intentions. Right away they proceeded in taking me through this long corridor on a journey that seemed to take a very long time, even though if felt like time stood still, it simply did not exist. I was traveling through the corridors of my consciousness and could see planets and constellations. When I returned, I found myself laying in my bed. Thinking it was over I was going through what had happened in my head when all of a sudden a big light appeared in my room on my left side and voice said: “Melanie; look at me”. I instantly knew this was The Source. The presence was so powerful that my response was: “Oh Source you are so beautiful, so powerful, how can I look at you?”. The Source answered in the most patient and loving manner: “Melanie look at me” I turned my head to face my creator but felt such physical pain, I was unable to face this powerfull presence. This ‘pain’ is attributed to different dimensional densities. Our realm in relation is very dense and of a much lower frequency in vibration . I was determined to proceed no matter how painful and ripping it was. He encouraged me to continued “Melanie look at me”. gradually disconnecting from my body I was able to face his light. My physical body felt like lead and unable to move anymore. My being became detached from my physical being. In other words, as I left my body, a veil was lifted.

Finally the most beautiful, incredible magnificent thing happened. I was facing this power, this most beautiful source of energy. Its presence was not of human form , rather it appeared as this most powerful and glorious sun radiating a most healing light as well as a most powerful tone_like a very high constant note resonating from within. This sound was like no other I had ever heard before. The top of my head felt like it was being opened and from which my soul body was exiting. As I was exited my body the pain slowly subsided, replaced with pure expansion of self. My soul body seamed so big and great that I thought “How did I ever fitted in my physical body?”. I stared at the most beautiful indescribable loving and healing being one could ever imagine. I felt like I was ‘Home. How could I had forgotten what it was like to be ‘Home’? Why had I ever had these questions? I knew him and he knew me. We always were One. The whole humanity is One with it. Religion got it all wrong. There was no vengeance, no anger, just pure divine love. My soul exclaimed: Oh Source I love you so much, my whole being is rejoicing in your presence and pain does not exist before you. How beautiful you are.

The divine Source presented me with my life review without anger or disappointment but instead he presented it to me to see in this new light. What did I think of my life? My only thoughts through this process was, “Oh Source I just wanted to love you the best I know how”. My soul was exclaiming. When this process was over there was no more separation from this power, instead I was received in it's embraced. Instead of me looking at it I was now in it. This light was within me and I was within it; nothing separated us. The expansion of my soul was without limits we were the whole universe and the universe was us. All the questions I ever had did not exist anymore it all made sense. From here perception is completely different. We are all going to come back to this realization, we just had to make our way back. For some this journey will take longer; and require more life lessons, but in the end we all end up back at The Source, where we began. There is no Hell; our Hell is that we have forgotten. This separation is our Hell. This is not because of The Source judgment, rather because it's loves for us is so great that it gave us free will to do as we pleased; until a time our soul can not be satisfied to be separated from it.

I rejoiced and remained in this ecstatic state for what seemed like many eternities. But now a new realization came over me. I had to go back; I had to tell people. The Source was not done with me. This was only a new beginning with new lessons to be learned. I slowly returned back in my body and started to feel the pain again, as if I was being fitted into a tiny jar. I felt so crammed in this earthly body. I started feeling my hands and my legs again. I did not like these sensations, I had been so free.

As I was coming back from this, it was incredibly difficult to move normally. My head was still resonating and I felt like I was neither here nor there.

For the next year or so it was very difficult for me to be incarnated as I feel very disconnected, as if my head was in a cloud. It took me lots of work to feel present and still to this day I struggle a bit with this. I was also very weary to lose with my incarnation; the power to connect with my The Source. One day I asked this question it responded: “Melanie what are you worried about I am always beside you; always with you; we can not be separated. I am in the flower, in the sea in everything and everyone you look at, I am there. Just talk with me. You just have to ask me and I will show you, I am there.

I hope this account will bring you peace. I am not special; I am not different from you. I just was persistent. Persistent in wanting to be One again. Does this mean that you have to go through what I experienced to received this? Not at all. It’s about embracing this Oneness and receiving it in your heart. Just ask, and I promise you, it will answer.

In oneness,

Melanie

Love

Love: what a commonly used word in our language; served to describe an array of levels of passion. That it be our 'love' for ice cream or an emotion so deep, we feel transported to a place of bliss, 'love' is used as a description.

The 'love' I am referring to right now, is the longing in ourselves that drives our every waking moment. This 'love' that we know if we could find, would satisfy our complete being eternally. In this realm, our reality, we sometimes have a glimpse of this illusive emotion, like if a carrot dangled in front of us to be quickly yanked away as soon as we get close. Why is 'love' so illusive, and where should one look to find it?

The realization that no one can fill this in us is the first step in taping into it's source. Our experiences in this life only are there to prove us this. Every relationship, romance, experience only proves to show that try as we might have a taste of love, the feeling quickly loses it intensity. So where is one to seek this never-ending fountain of 'love'? The answer is within ourselves. For one to receive it, one must first learn to give it from within, no matter how little we are capable of giving.  When we activate love our cup starts filling more and more. If one holds on to it without willing to share it, the source runs dry again. It is a matter of keeping the source alive and flowing.

'Love' ,one has to remember, is not selfish, 'love' gives of itself without expecting in return, 'love' is kind, 'love' is patient. 'Love" doesn't concern itself with the return of it's giving to another, it knows that it will be finding it's way back to us, in one way or another.

You have first to be able to give in order to receive the love you wish, to yourself and to others. If all can realize this truth; we are the key to 'love' , then our whole reality would change in an instance and we could bask in the source that never perishes.

Compassion

Compassion is a space in all of our hearts.

When we listen to another with compassion we do not judge the circumstance  but connect to the soul that is longing. It is a sacred space of connectivity where one forgets about the me, to listen to the yearning of another.

Compassion is a magical place where we find ourselves moved and where our heart expands. Sometime we shun this feeling because it makes us feel vulnerable. Many tears might be shed in it's embrace. As we breathe it in and recognize it's presence we find ourselves sweetened by it's perfume.

When we first learn to be compassionate we might experience it so strongly, shedding tears for seemingly the smallest things. This sometimes overwhelming wave is nothing we should fear or judge, as it roots its way to anchor itself within us. These overwhelming emotions will soon subside to a place of peace.

Compassion is something we need to also feel for ourselves. Looking at our own journey we realize  instances where we might have been kinder to our own senses. No need here to show how strong and brave we are,  just letting go and knowing we are safe in it's presence.

When compassion takes root within we see the world in more understanding and less judgemental light. We look at all creature great and small, we see our fellow man, we bask in the beauty of nature with the power to see all of it's aspects; now we see all points of view, all side of the equation. We respond now to all with understanding. Compassion teaches us to Love.

Oneness

Oneness, a word manifested in our consciousness at this time is starting to take root deep in ourselves. Just meditating and absorbing the word creates deep changes within us. Mental walls have to be broken to see the depth of it's meanings. Only the soul can journey to the revelation that is offered.

For one to absorb 'oneness' the idea of duality has to be let go of. Our dualistic preconditioning of good versus bad belief system, religion, politic, race, gender... have to be abandoned as we progress further up the path into the realm of 'oneness'. Allow the all so powerful 'me' to fall away. The power of 'oneness' is undeniable but the challenge of embracing it is great. The 'ego' self puts up a fight, our mental process often not able to relate. The only thing left to enter the gate is the soul. As the soul reconnects to the 'oneness', we find rebirth.

As we lay down our need to understand 'it' we find a place of discovery. Our heart expending as we breathe oneness in. Our soul finding wings again in the connectedness that we are. The blinders that cover our eyes fall away, expanding our view of the world. Sitting in that space, we taste the bliss. Connecting to the supreme consciousness of the universe. The unconditional love we feel in the oneness becomes so palpable we only seek to return to it again and again. It is time for our world to discover the true nature that is in us. Oneness will guide us.

Sophia the spirit within us

There is a time when creativity takes over us, where logic and mental chatter becomes quiet. That is the time I feel my paintbrush moving with no struggle on the canvas. I can't make it happen, it happens by itself and often the message of the final product conveyed to me is one I am awed with. Not because the piece itself is a masterpiece but because the meaning of what has been expressed fills me with beauty. This painting is an example of one of these moments.The time at which it was expressed was very significant.
A couple weeks before the end of the Mayan Calendar, I felt a great urge to complete it by then, and it became the central part of that night celebration that we call 'Yule'.

Who is Sophia? In Christianity she is referred to as 'holly spirit'. Sophia means 'wisdom' in Greek. We may not all know her by this name but she is recognized all over the world. She is the soul voice within ourselves, the manifestation of rebirth.  She represents female energy, she is the womb, the Holy Grail. The end of the Mayan Calendar is a marker for us of this time when humanity is called back to the realm of spirit, and 'Yule'_Yalda (in Persian), is the longest night of the year. A time to remember  our rebirth into this realm.

That it be writing, painting, dancing,  by connecting to the essence of your soul it can then manifest its message. We all have the ability within us.

Pain

The story that is my life was not golden paved, I do no say this for sympathy, I say it as an observer of it. I say it as someone who can look back with gratitude in the full realization that every detail of what I considered to be suffering as been such a powerful precursor of my awakening. There is a part of me that somehow now feel immense tenderness towards that pain, it has cause a breaking of the shell that freed the perfume that is, soul. The tenderness I feel is for the gift I was given_empathy. The space around the heart that grew with every tear I shed. The longing for betterment my inner self yearned for at every thought of unworthiness. The seeking for love, unconditional. So many blessings  through the lens of 'pain' I saw.

So why does one feel fear of it; pain, a powerful word of the language of the mind, that instinctively make us run away from what it seeks to show us.  The word itself makes us cringe. It make us put up a spontaneous armour of defence. The defensive self arms itself for a fight at the slightest recognition that pain is knocking at the door. Fear becomes so potent, like a wounded animal, claws extended, in defence the self . Sometimes we succeed in doing so for years. Pain then becomes more powerful and only gathers strength waiting to make it's entrance. One can't avoid the lessons it calls us to surrender to.


Hmmm, pain makes us think after one has released into it willingly or unwillingly. Would it have been easier to face it straight ahead and courageously? Probably, but this is only hind-sight, as it does provide a marker for one who has learned their lessons. Next time, I will be courageous; next time I will let go and trust. Maybe one day I will have outgrown the need for it's return. Whether it does or not, I have learned to recognize it as a 'teacher' and bow gratefully for it's precious lessons.

The Beginning

So much space to now start writing and weaving the words that will convey the path of my journey. It is a great task ahead. "Why"? you ask, because, words say very little, they express only a fragment of our experiences. They can never tell the profoundness in which an emotion or a vision has changed us. They can't truly express the amazement one feels when a truth in the soul has been conveyed. So above all, I wish to connect my soul to yours, my vibration to your vibration, and maybe, in that space we will meet and when words will not be what bond us as one, but the universe in us all.